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Cesc, Drogs and Rock and Roll by Gerry McDonnell

Working on a Sunday is comparable to sleeping with the wife, it occurs rarely and it's never enjoyable. The gaffer is aware of my reticence, whenever circumstances demand that I appear on the Sabbath he throws me double time and a day in lieu, I'm reasonably happy with that, but Louise has just handed her notice in. As a result, I'll be spending this Sunday watching three live Premiership matches.

West Ham - 8/1
Chelsea v West Ham kicks off the action at midday and an early shock could be on the cards. Man United are breathing down the champion's necks and Chelsea are feeling the pressure; they're currently wobbling like a jelly on a drunken Sumo wrestler.

There's a definite cloud over the Bridge, after being booed by his own supporters, a depressed Didier Drogba is reportedly considering a move away from the club. Imagine that, Drogba, down. There's a real case for backing the Hammers at 8/1 against a choking Chelsea, but a lay of the Champions at around the 3/10 mark on the exchanges is a more practical option. It's practically in already.

Anfield To See Red - 10/3
Super Sunday continues when Liverpool host Bolton, and this one could be tasty. If my memory serves me correctly, Stevie Gerrard used Kevin Nolan's back as a trampoline earlier in the season; you would think he could afford his own. A sending off in the match is available at 10/3, that's definitely worth a small interest.

Liverpool - 1/2, Fowler - 11/10
Robbie Fowler has had a good week, after overtaking Kenny Dalglish in Liverpool's all-time goal scorer list; Rafa has confirmed that a couple more goals could earn him a new contract at the club. The scally legend has a lot to play for, and like a dyslexic hippy; i'm a big believer in 'Fowler power'. The Pool should be backed at 1/2 to take the three points; Robbie should be backed at 11/10 to get on the scoresheet.

Man Utd - Evens
After a couple of tasty starters, the live action reaches a crescendo when Arsenal travel to Old Trafford. This fixture has finished goalless on the last two meetings, but that's about to change. Arsenal are currently in a purple patch, and United's patch is arguably even purpler, it's a Fergie's nose patch. There will be goals in this one, and United want it that little bit more. They're good looking bets at even money.

Van Nistelrooy started on the bench last week, came on, went to ground easily, and then banged in his 150th goal for the club, it was a typical Van the man performance. Nistelrooy and Arsenal have a little history, he's a 9/2 shot to score the last goal against his old mates. The British press have had Cesc on their brain all week, but United have a half decent youngster of their own, his name's Rooney, and he can play ball. Wayne likes the big occasion, he's a 6/4 shot to score at any time.

Man City - 7/2
Martin Jol's decision to continuously play Mido ahead of Jermaine Defoe leaves me perplexed. As I often reassure the wife, there's nothing wrong with having two little ones up front. Spurs play hosts to a Man City team who still have their manager's savage criticism ringing through their ears, an improved performance from City is an absolute certainty; 7/2 screams value.

Boro Geordie Draw - 11/5
The Boro v Newcastle match reminds me of the time I holidayed in the Orient, there's every chance it might end up in a tie. The last three meets between these two have finished all square, a trend that looks set to continue. 11/5 is on offer, let's rock and roll.

The weekend specials:
"I should be so lucky" - Portsmouth to keep a clean sheet 15/8
"All you need is Love" - Lovenkrands to score and Rangers to win 1-0 20/1
"Johnny be good" - John Terry to be booked 11/4
"Shay a little prayer" - Newcastle to keep a clean sheet 15/8
"Let's talk about Cesc" - Fabregas to score two or more goals 25/1

Quote of the week:
"Every time I pull on the shirt, I give 120%."
Jermain Defoe puts all other professional footballers to shame, they only put in 110%.

Stat, you're a liberty:
A quick perusal through the Premiership's top 20 goal scorers this season makes interesting reading; the most lethal striker is?Luke Moore. Aston Villa's rising star scores a goal every 1.88 shots. To put that stat in perspective, Rooney's ratio is 1 in 4.85, Lampard scores 1 in 5.80.

Accumulator of the week:
Man City, Fulham, Aston Villa and Liverpool are all good looking bets on their own, throw them all together, you've got a gorgeous little 32/1 accer.